Staff

[Gareth Hughes]

With regard to staff, Hilaire Belloc had it right

Lord Finchley tried to mend the electric light
Himself. It struck him dead, and serve him right!

It is the business of the wealthy man
To give employment to the artisan

 

[JoceAndChris]

Quite right Gareth. There's far too much DIY going on.

I'm sure we could go on, but this must be making Joce cringe!

On the contrary, I love it! I see There's a big Spike Milligan hole in my reading that needs to be filled!

 

[Moo]

I have a problem on my mind,
Come quick and tell me, girlie.
Is it that I'm maturing late?
Or simply rotting early?

That struck a chord with me when I was eighteen, and I still don't know the answer.

 

[Penners]

Then of course there's Spike's chef d'oeuvre:

I'm walking backwards for Christmas,
Across the Irish Sea,
I'm walking backwards for Christmas,
It's the only thing for me.

I've tried walking sideways,
And walking to the front,
But people just look at me,
And say it's a publicity stunt.

I'm walking backwards for Christmas,
To prove that I love you.

An immigrant lad, loved an Irish colleen
From Dublin's Galway Bay.
He longed for her arms,
But she spurned his charms,
And sailed o'er the foam away

She left the lad by himself, on his own
All alone, a-sorrowing
And sadly he dreamed, or at least that's the
way it seemed, buddy,
That an angel choir did sing -
An angel choir did sing.

I'm walking backwards for Christmas,
Across the Irish Sea.
I'm walking backwards for Christmas,
It's the finest thing for me.

And so I've tried walking sideways,
And walking to the front.
But people just laughed, and said,
'It's a publicity stunt'.

So I'm walking backwards for Christmas
To prove that I love you.

But it's even better when you hear the author singing it. He even manages to make the piano funny!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e61uC-5s9VU

 

[FamilyWiggs]

I have a wonderful member of staff who does all the mowing with a knackered old push mower(we have an ride on but i havent got round to renewing the tyres and the broken self propel on the manual is such a frivolity!), tidys the house daily in between good cleans, strims when I have the appliance working, and provides all meals of an evening and a weekend. Sadly shes not available in usual working hours because shes out at her other job to pay the mortgage, but when the kids get home she seems to be able to multitask with them too. If the mowing doesn't take all day, then she slips off to tescos or weeds the flower beds. I dont need any extra staff for laundry as, as if by magic, everything I leave on the floor ends up clean and back in the wardrobe!! Staff, smarff I say: get married and have it all for free!!!

(I might add that my wife is just about computer literate and occasionally breaks out of her routine to crack all my passwords and cause havoc wherever she goes. Cant have it all!)

:roll:

 

[FamilyWiggs]

Hmmm - it would appear from "my" last post, that SWMBO has learned to use the electrical interweb thingy. :shock:

 

[Flyfisher]

That'll be 'Staff Who Must Be Obeyed' then. :lol:

 

[LadyArowana]

I have a wonderful member of staff who does all the mowing with a knackered old push mower(we have an ride on but i havent got round to renewing the tyres and the broken self propel on the manual is such a frivolity!), tidys the house daily in between good cleans, strims when I have the appliance working, and provides all meals of an evening and a weekend. Sadly shes not available in usual working hours because shes out at her other job to pay the mortgage, but when the kids get home she seems to be able to multitask with them too. If the mowing doesn't take all day, then she slips off to tescos or weeds the flower beds. I dont need any extra staff for laundry as, as if by magic, everything I leave on the floor ends up clean and back in the wardrobe!! Staff, smarff I say: get married and have it all for free!!!

(I might add that my wife is just about computer literate and occasionally breaks out of her routine to crack all my passwords and cause havoc wherever she goes. Cant have it all!)

:roll:

Has she by any chance taken out a hefty life insurance policy on you? such an angel is surely hiding something and plotting ................

 

[Penners]

Hmmm - it would appear from "my" last post, that SWMBO has learned to use the electrical interweb thingy. :shock:

So... we shall never know who is posting on this forum. :shock:

In fact, if that's you, Mrs FW, may I just say that I hope you never meet and compare notes with Mrs P.

 

[JoceAndChris]

a very inspired post from mrs f w there, I must say! She is clearly one of those angels in the house from bygone times, but here's my ideal of womanhood:

Goldilocks, goldilocks, wilt thou be mine?
Thou shalt not wash dishes, nor feed the swine,
But sit on a cushion and sew a fine seam
And feed upon strawberries covered in cream!

 

[FamilyWiggs]

Has she by any chance taken out a hefty life insurance policy on you? such an angel is surely hiding something and plotting ................

She has - and she keeps increasing it! And then whispers sweet nothings to me like "you have to go by the time you're 53, and not last more than 30 days when you do"! :shock:

Should I be worried?

 

[Penners]

Goldilocks, goldilocks, wilt thou be mine?
Thou shalt not wash dishes, nor feed the swine,
But sit on a cushion and sew a fine seam
And feed upon strawberries covered in cream!

How delightful. I've always enjoyed sophisticated verse.

Mary had a little bear
To whom she was so kind,
And everywhere that Mary went
You saw her bear behind.


That tends to work better viva voce....

 

[JoceAndChris]

Love the fine poem from Penners above.

Anyway, I'm sure you'll all be thrilled to know that flushed with joy at the skill and reliability of my maid I've engaged her friend to pick up leaves. ( at least 10 sacks of leaves a week this time of year)

The good people on the hen forum suggest carpeting the runs and paddocks with the dry leaves of autumn - anyone done that? Chickens don't like having muddy feet.

Just trying to solve the guilt dilemma of whether I really make this girl work in the rain.

 

[Pford75]

Building a leaf mould bin is quite easy. Just four posts, with chicken wire wrapped around the outside. Fill it with leaves and you will have a wonderful garden enricher in a year or two

 

[JoceAndChris]

Good idea - for the right garden- but I want to reduce the growth not enrich it! I have a very large, full bin of composting matter that I just don't know what to do with.

The soil here is very fertile without doing anything to it at all. It's the perfect soil in fact.

 

[Moo]

You could always sell it - you're going to need all the help you can get to pay for that wonderful birthday party.

 

[worms]

Particularly if she follows any of my suggestions!

 

[FamilyWiggs]

Just chuck some veg seeds on top of the compost - pumpkins, courgettes or marrows would do very well and need no tending.

Invite your maid to the February party to pour drinks, etc. This could be her reward for an autumn and winter of external work in inclement weather. :wink:

 

[Penners]

people on the hen forum suggest carpeting the runs and paddocks with the dry leaves of autumn - anyone done that? Chickens don't like having muddy feet.

Leaves? :shock:

I should have thought that your feather-footed babies would merit only the finest Axminster.

trying to solve the guilt dilemma of whether I really make this girl work in the rain.

It's your absolute duty to make her work in the rain. Only after that experience will she appreciate your bountiful generosity at allowing her to work on dry days, too.

 

[JoceAndChris]

:lol:

I take your point about working in the rain!

Feather footed babies living outside now. I miss waking up to their cheeping. They're so pleased to see me when I go out there they fly up to my shoulder and peck my eyelashes.

FW - what is the use of pumpkins and marrows? I've grown a pumpkin this year, it's been a fair amount of effort with watering, and now I'm going to have to roast it and feed it to the hens, who would have preferred the old leftover bones of a KFC.