Pre-Budget Report

[Penners]

I used to be in advertising, you see. Can't break the habit.

 

[Jane Smith]

I don't have an excuse for the gin.

 

[Penners]

Jane - you live in a huge house at the top of a windswept hill in the back of beyond. You have very little heating, not much electricity and limitations on the use of water. You also have a condition that gives you the twinging screws if you get too cold.

I reckon you have a better excuse for the gin than anyone in this particular spiral arm of the galaxy. :wink:

 

[Jane Smith]

Sorry. I stopped concentrating after "twinging screws". You never stop, do you, Penfold?

 

[Penners]

I'm wounded. Here am I, taking hours of my precious time to craft beautiful prose, and you can't even be bothered to read it.

Philistine.

You'll be sorry when I get my Booker prize.

 

[Jane Smith]

It's not that I don't appreciate you, Penners, my dear, it's just that you always distract me and make me think of Other Things. I did, however, forget to thank you for the comment about the gin. I can drink myself into the gutter now and know that you approve. Not that I'd have not done so without your approval, but it is so much more enjoyable with your blessing.

 

[Penners]

Gutter? How many miles would you have to stagger to reach the nearest gutter?

Feel free just to pass out on the kitchen table. Much more convenient.

 

[Jane Smith]

Penners, you are so right. I'll just quietly slide down onto the floor and stay there. No point staggering about in the dark looking for a gutter. No point at all.