Drilling a hole

[Moo]

Thanks for that funny, Middi. It's about to do the e-mail rounds.

xx

 

[middi]

Thanks for that funny, Middi. It's about to do the e-mail rounds.

xx

I thought you may like it Moo. ( it cheared me up when someone send it to me )

Middi

 

[biffvernon]

Now that we've sorted out the world, I'm happy to report that my shiny new £39.99 drill has made four holes (well, five actually, as one was in the wrong place) through a two foot thick wall.

My thanks to all the good Chinese people involved in the drill's manufacture, but please treat your animals nicely.

 

[Feltwell]

The Chinese have some excellent values. One of my suppliers sent me their new corporate bumpf recently - I liked the "core values" section. It's proof that the ability to generate corporate bullsh@# is now truly global.


Mission and Vision:

Contribute to society, shareholders and staff by diligence , wisdom and courage.

Management:

Innovation is the soul, honesty is the heart.

Business purposes:

No best, only to make better.
Customers need is what we want to do.


Development strategy:

Technology leading oriented, Brand making driven.

Core values:

Justice, Benevolence, Loyalty, Dedication

 

[Flyfisher]

Very impressive indeed. They're even getting the hang of translation. :wink:

 

[Penners]

They're even getting the hang of translation.

Yes, from Chinese into corporate b@ll@cks.

 

[middi]

They're even getting the hang of translation.

Yes, from Chinese into corporate b@ll@cks.

They sound just like politicians, they say exactly what you want to hear .

Agree. It's all a load of " bollockeros".

 

[Penners]

bollockeros

They sound like South American cowboys!

 

[middi]

Now, that is a load of bollockeros Penners, there is no way that the chinese will ever be "comancheros" :wink:

 

[Feltwell]

The Brits can do it as well - B&Q named one of their head office buildings "Cando House", to reflect the "Can Do" spirit within the company :roll: Without a hint of irony, it houses the finance department.

"Chinglish" is something you very quickly get used to in dealing with China - and it's very easy to find yourself replying to emails in the same way. The western names they adopt can sometimes raise a smile as well (the Chinese don't use their native names when dealing with foreigners. In fact, if they work for a western company, although they will speak their language in the office they usually will only use their western names, even with each other).

I deal with many people who have chosen perfectly ordinary names - Charles, David, Annie - but I also deal with Berlin, Sunny, Winky, Coco and Yoyo (who work together!), Fox, Tiger, Berry.....

It's easy to laugh but you do have to remember how much better their English is than your Chinese - I can only manage a few words. Still, where would Britain be today without our ability to laugh at foreigners eh?? :?: :|

 

[Penners]

I used to deal with the Chinese, too - they used to supply some of the furniture that we sold. As you say, they adopt Western names for dealing with the West, mostly easy ones. However, I did communicate periodically with one quality engineer who - for reasons that I never quite discovered - called himself Cocky.

No, don't speculate...!

As for Chinglish instructions, I reckon I have the best ever - these instructions came with a new loo that I bought from a well-known online bathroom goods supplier:

 

[Flyfisher]

"And notice the thing carrying" . . . wonderful stuff. :lol:

I wonder if they have the same amount of fun with our translated notices and instructions?

(Do they actually buy much from us though?)

 

[JohnB]

I've got some stuff I'd like translated into Welsh, but didn't think that using Google Translate would go down very well. I bet if I translated something from English to Welsh to that high standard, no Welsh person would ever speak to me again!

 

[middi]

From my point of view it would have been much better if they supplied the instructions in chinese.

---" limited responsability is assured"----- :lol:

 

[Flyfisher]

I've got some stuff I'd like translated into Welsh, but didn't think that using Google Translate would go down very well.

Ah, Welsh translations . . . can be tricky: http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/7702913.stm

 

[Feltwell]

That is quite a spectacular example Penners. The "Trouble Reason" of "Journeys are not enough that half a platoon presses the button" is fantastic.

You do wonder how any self-respecting retailer, online or not, could let that bad a translation be sent out.

Here's another Welsh one as well:-

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/wales/south_east/8136532.stm

 

[skier-hughes]

What do you want doing?
I could ask my Dad, but he's a little rusty, but my Aunty or several friends would most likely do it if there's not too much

 

[MdB]

I've got some stuff I'd like translated into Welsh, but didn't think that using Google Translate would go down very well.

Ah, Welsh translations . . . can be tricky: http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/7702913.stm

So can Russian translations... http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-lincolnshire-11774367

 

[JohnB]

What do you want doing?
I could ask my Dad, but he's a little rusty, but my Aunty or several friends would most likely do it if there's not too much

It's ok thanks. I think I know people who would do it for me
or
It's fine thanks. I think I know people who would do me, as scarily translated by Google into Welsh and back again :lol:

 

[Penners]

I think I know people who would do me

Could I have her phone number?