The irony of building insurance

[worms]

I wonder if Autoglass know any good builders?

Perhaps not, but they could probably sell you a treatment that will guarantee to protect the wall from elephants roosting on it for the next 25 years!

 

[Penners]

I see I shall have to return to keep you on your toes.

Don't talk to me about my toes. Agony, they are...agony. I could tell you things about my toes as would 'ave your 'air curling.

 

[FamilyWiggs]

I see I shall have to return to keep you on your toes.

Don't talk to me about my toes. Agony, they are...agony. I could tell you things about my toes as would 'ave your 'air curling.

Man up Penners - you normally bear these afflictions with your customary dignified (and silent) fortitude.

 

[LadyArowana]

I see I shall have to return to keep you on your toes.

Don't talk to me about my toes. Agony, they are...agony. I could tell you things about my toes as would 'ave your 'air curling.

Man up Penners - you normally bear these afflictions with your customary dignified (and silent) fortitude.

Sorry but you will get no sympathy from me. My dearest other half will complain about the tiniest little blister or other minuscule shoe related discomfort. All the ladies here will know that it is as nothing compared to what a spectacular pair of heels will do to the feet, and before the chaps start with the "it's your own fault for wearing them" nonsense they had better be prepared to swear they are never to be found giving the high heels and miniskirt brigade a quick visual inspection!

 

[Penners]

before the chaps start with the "it's your own fault for wearing them" nonsense they had better be prepared to swear they are never to be found giving the high heels and miniskirt brigade a quick visual inspection!

From that statement we chaps can presumably infer that - despite your endless protestations to the contrary - you women DO dress specifically to attract the male gaze.

I'm not complaining you understand - just seeking to lift the veil of obfuscation.

 

[worms]

quick visual inspection...

Quick? Not guilty, m'lud!

 

[Gareth Hughes]

before the chaps start with the "it's your own fault for wearing them" nonsense they had better be prepared to swear they are never to be found giving the high heels and miniskirt brigade a quick visual inspection!

From that statement we chaps can presumably infer that - despite your endless protestations to the contrary - you women DO dress specifically to attract the male gaze.

I'm not complaining you understand - just seeking to lift the veil of obfuscation.

"My client was only seeking to lift the veil of obfuscation, m'Lud."

"Six months"

 

[Penners]

"M'lud, my client would like an indeterminate number of similar offences to be taken into account."

 

[Feltwell]

You're lucky I don't make you suffer a lot of pictures of shoes

To drag an old post back up, I saw this today and thought of you. And Joce.

http://www.logisticsmanager.com/Articles/Article.aspx?liArticleID=16514

100 million pairs of shoes, is that enough? AND lots of logistical things to keep the menfolk entertained - conveyors, forklifts, lorries etc etc.

 

[Penners]

Ooh yes - very entertaining!

Gosh - I'm SO sorry! It must be my recent late nights.

 

[LadyArowana]

You're lucky I don't make you suffer a lot of pictures of shoes

To drag an old post back up, I saw this today and thought of you. And Joce.

http://www.logisticsmanager.com/Articles/Article.aspx?liArticleID=16514

100 million pairs of shoes, is that enough? AND lots of logistical things to keep the menfolk entertained - conveyors, forklifts, lorries etc etc.

Very kind of you, but the Inditex group isn't for shoe snobs ( I can't speak for Joce..... but it is one of my failings :lol: )! I am definately a Zara or Massimo girl for a bit of casual wear, but I don't like to go that far down the food chain for footwear, or bags either if I'm making a full confession. I would offer the fact that I wear M&S undies till they almost fall apart in mitigation of my profligate ways, but that is definately too much information to share in public.

 

[Penners]

I wear M&S undies

Oh gosh... er... I say... ahem...

 

[Flyfisher]

NURSE !

 

[LadyArowana]

NURSE !

Not sure the mental picture that will conjure up is going to help.

 

[JoceAndChris]

:lol: :lol: :lol:

I thought this thread was about the Irony of Building Insurance! Naive of me, I know.

Feltwell, awfully kind of you to think of me when you came across 100 million billion shoes or whatever it was, but I've changed. I'm not remotely interested in shoes or fashion anymore. Yesterday, I went to Chandlers, bought a fleece and spent 10 minutes drooling over the shiny new tractors. Dozens of them there were: dazzling.

I then went to the vet and had a lesson in weighing, measuring and administrating anti-biotics to ornamental fowl.

The day before my rural activities were thwarted because I was not wearing wellies. I had wanted to inspect the sheep at the Melton Mowbray livestock fair, but I was required to walk through a sheep dip, and I was wearing leather brogues. So I'm keeping the wellies on from now on.

 

[Penners]

Surely the solution to that problem was simple. Take your leather brogues off.

It might have been a touch wet and chilly, but you'd never have suffered from itch mite, blow-fly, ticks or lice again.

 

[JoceAndChris]

Darn it, why didn't I think of that?

 

[Penners]

And you get precious nuggets like that absolutely free on this wonderful forum. :wink:

 

[worms]

Surely the solution to that problem was simple. Take your leather brogues off.

It might have been a touch wet and chilly, but you'd never have suffered from itch mite, blow-fly, ticks or lice again.

And instead come home with codd, scald and quite possibly orf...!

 

[Gareth Hughes]

I then went to the vet and had a lesson in weighing, measuring and administrating anti-biotics to ornamental fowl.

The Oxford comma (or a couple of them, or a scattering of colons and semi-colons) would have come in useful there, unless you were weighing and measuring the vet. I can't imagine why Penners didn't pick that up.
And I think it should be "administering" instead of (or perhaps as well as) "administrating". I'm not sure there's a hyphen in "antibiotics" either.
Tut! These modern girls. :lol: