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Feltwell
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Penners said:
Children were present, so much muttering under my breath ensued!
a twig said:
I might be lucky there - this is the biggest single window in the house, so if I need to use them anywhere else I should be able to cut them down. I can't even remember what I bought that size for!
Feltwell
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Grump Du Jour:-
Numpties who lever out firmly stuck sash pocket covers with screwdrivers, damaging the sash box on the process. Almost every window here has this :evil: as I finish repairing yet another one. The annoying thing it's easy enough with a bit of thought to get them out with no damage.
Numpties who lever out firmly stuck sash pocket covers with screwdrivers, damaging the sash box on the process. Almost every window here has this :evil: as I finish repairing yet another one. The annoying thing it's easy enough with a bit of thought to get them out with no damage.
Penners
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Hmmm... you seem to have posted the great majority of grumps on this thread, Feltwell. Is this because you are afflicted more than most of us, or just a demonstration of your sense of commitment to continuing the thread?
Feltwell
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I'm training hard for my transition to "grumpy old man" Penners. Currently I'm just "grumpy middle aged man".
This would imply that training is not required, merely time, however where's the fun in that?
Damn, that didn't sound very grumpy. See, more practice required. QED.
This would imply that training is not required, merely time, however where's the fun in that?
Damn, that didn't sound very grumpy. See, more practice required. QED.
Feltwell
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a twig said:
Every year my kids pester me to be allowed to grow cherry tomatoes in growbags on the patio. So every year we buy 3 growbags (one for each child) and every year it's Dad who does all the work to grow them, the kids plant the seeds then lose interest- doesn't stop them getting competitive on whose plants are doing the best though once fruit starts to appear! It's a good job I have a weakness for fresh cherry tomatoes really.
plasticpigeon
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While scraping loose paint off the lower sash of a bedroom window, to see if I could get away with not stripping it with a poultice stripper, I slipped with the scraper and cracked the only original piece of glass in that window. Next challenge is to see if I can remove some wobbly glass from my stash of rescued old sashes in the garden.
wobs
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Spent the weekend changing the car battery.....
I wish I had been able to listen in on the design meeting when Ford was planning the battery location for the Ford Focus (2008). I imagine it would have gone something like this:
Designer 1: So we want to fit the battery in the engine compartment, just like every car in history. Our older cars, and other manufacturers have until now made them reasonably easy to get out. Let’s keep it that spirit and make the whole process an intuitive as possible, as they are often changed by the owners.
Designer 2: You’re new here aren’t you. This is the 21st century, people have smart phones, internet, and mp3s…. we need to give them a taste of how hard life was back in the old days.
Designer 1: But surely cars have always had batteries were reasonably easy to access in the old days? We need to improve cars, not make them harder to maintain? Making them harder to change a battery would be pointless.
Designer 2: Look, you’re a junior designer, you may have been taught in college that design should be to benefit the end user, but that’s just not how we roll around here.
Designer 3: That’s right number 1, hey, why don’t we put it partially under the body work, so the neutral connection is difficult to disconnect and really difficult to re-connect?
Designer 2: Are you listening to this number 1? Are you learning yet?
Designer 3: But what about the bracket that holds it in place? Hey, why don’t we have one side that is only accessible with a decent socket set?
Designer 1: What?! Why can’t we just have both nuts accessible with a spanner? What if a socket set can’t accommodate the long bolt it’s on? Then they will have no way of getting it off!
Designer 3: You have much to learn. So, even if they can get the connections off, and the bracket off with a decent socket set, it’s still too easy.
Designer 2: Oh I know – Let’s house the battery in a plastic box so they can only get it out from under the body work by unclipping the front of the box.
Designer 1: But that is hardly obvious is it.
Designer 3: Exactly.
Designer 1: Erm.
Designer 2: But it’s still too easy. What we need is something a bit more special. How about if we design the box so the clips easily re-connect themselves before they want to remove the battery, but when they actually want to put the box back together, it will be really hard, and will probably break one side.
Designer 3: I like it, but that sounds incredibly difficult to achieve. I’ll set my best team on it. It could take millions to design such a system, but it will be so worth it.
Designer 2: I just think this will be all in vein if YouTube ruins it with some useful instruction. We need something else. How about having the live cable being impossible to move out of the way unless you disconnect it from some other cable first. And have that for a particular model?
Designer 1: But the Focus is sold in the millions, how can you sneak obscure features into it?
Designer 2: You’ll be surprised what can be achieved with the correct level of evil. We might make better Focuses in the UK than the US, but that’s just a front for us to have some fun. You Brits have it too easy, with your mild weather, lack of earthquakes.
Designer 3: Stick with us number 1 and you’ll go far. All we need now is to make sure that the final heave to get the battery out is as difficult as possible, so obviously, any handles must be useless for the angle you need to get it out at. It will be nice and slippery, with little to get hold of.
Designer 1: Have you two recently had babies or something?
Designer 3: Yes, but that’s besides the point. The child birth experience should be shared to as many as possible. This is our way of sharing that challenge.
Designer 1: But lead acid batteries are really heavy. Babies weigh a few pounds. And you don’t end up loving a used lead acid battery. And, you don’t put a baby back in….. You didn’t did you?
Designer 2: That reminds me – we need to make sure that the Ford battery is a bit smaller than a replacement that they get from a standard motor spares shop. That will make the bracket a real pain to re-fit. And just to confirm, that neutral connection will be almost impossible to re-fit properly under the body work. That should do it, now it’s time to kill some puppies
Designer1: Are you guys with the Sith?
Designer 3: [waves hand] No, we’re not.
Designer 1: No…. you’re not.
I wish I had been able to listen in on the design meeting when Ford was planning the battery location for the Ford Focus (2008). I imagine it would have gone something like this:
Designer 1: So we want to fit the battery in the engine compartment, just like every car in history. Our older cars, and other manufacturers have until now made them reasonably easy to get out. Let’s keep it that spirit and make the whole process an intuitive as possible, as they are often changed by the owners.
Designer 2: You’re new here aren’t you. This is the 21st century, people have smart phones, internet, and mp3s…. we need to give them a taste of how hard life was back in the old days.
Designer 1: But surely cars have always had batteries were reasonably easy to access in the old days? We need to improve cars, not make them harder to maintain? Making them harder to change a battery would be pointless.
Designer 2: Look, you’re a junior designer, you may have been taught in college that design should be to benefit the end user, but that’s just not how we roll around here.
Designer 3: That’s right number 1, hey, why don’t we put it partially under the body work, so the neutral connection is difficult to disconnect and really difficult to re-connect?
Designer 2: Are you listening to this number 1? Are you learning yet?
Designer 3: But what about the bracket that holds it in place? Hey, why don’t we have one side that is only accessible with a decent socket set?
Designer 1: What?! Why can’t we just have both nuts accessible with a spanner? What if a socket set can’t accommodate the long bolt it’s on? Then they will have no way of getting it off!
Designer 3: You have much to learn. So, even if they can get the connections off, and the bracket off with a decent socket set, it’s still too easy.
Designer 2: Oh I know – Let’s house the battery in a plastic box so they can only get it out from under the body work by unclipping the front of the box.
Designer 1: But that is hardly obvious is it.
Designer 3: Exactly.
Designer 1: Erm.
Designer 2: But it’s still too easy. What we need is something a bit more special. How about if we design the box so the clips easily re-connect themselves before they want to remove the battery, but when they actually want to put the box back together, it will be really hard, and will probably break one side.
Designer 3: I like it, but that sounds incredibly difficult to achieve. I’ll set my best team on it. It could take millions to design such a system, but it will be so worth it.
Designer 2: I just think this will be all in vein if YouTube ruins it with some useful instruction. We need something else. How about having the live cable being impossible to move out of the way unless you disconnect it from some other cable first. And have that for a particular model?
Designer 1: But the Focus is sold in the millions, how can you sneak obscure features into it?
Designer 2: You’ll be surprised what can be achieved with the correct level of evil. We might make better Focuses in the UK than the US, but that’s just a front for us to have some fun. You Brits have it too easy, with your mild weather, lack of earthquakes.
Designer 3: Stick with us number 1 and you’ll go far. All we need now is to make sure that the final heave to get the battery out is as difficult as possible, so obviously, any handles must be useless for the angle you need to get it out at. It will be nice and slippery, with little to get hold of.
Designer 1: Have you two recently had babies or something?
Designer 3: Yes, but that’s besides the point. The child birth experience should be shared to as many as possible. This is our way of sharing that challenge.
Designer 1: But lead acid batteries are really heavy. Babies weigh a few pounds. And you don’t end up loving a used lead acid battery. And, you don’t put a baby back in….. You didn’t did you?
Designer 2: That reminds me – we need to make sure that the Ford battery is a bit smaller than a replacement that they get from a standard motor spares shop. That will make the bracket a real pain to re-fit. And just to confirm, that neutral connection will be almost impossible to re-fit properly under the body work. That should do it, now it’s time to kill some puppies
Designer1: Are you guys with the Sith?
Designer 3: [waves hand] No, we’re not.
Designer 1: No…. you’re not.
Penners
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I felt I was right there in the meeting, Wobs (speaking as an ex-Ford Escort owner). I think you have the makings of a top-rated sitcom there!
Just one small typo: you wrote "all in vein" when of course I know you meant "all in blood vessel".
Just one small typo: you wrote "all in vein" when of course I know you meant "all in blood vessel".
wobs
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Funny you should say that, as I did trap my finger doing this job, and got a blood blister. Probably all part of their plan.Penners said:
Feltwell
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I have to say Wobs old chap, that's a proper rant. Well done - marvellous. I had visions of Basil Fawlty and an Austin 1100 there for a moment.
I suppose it would be churlish of me to point out that the Feltwell household owns a Ford, an S-Max. It's a very good family car. At the weekend Mrs F, who's car it is, told me it needed fixing - a blown headlight bulb. So I look in the instruction manual - you have to remove the headlight to change a bulb - "Oh no", thinks I, for reasons that will become clear in a moment. But, I have to give Ford their due, so long as you have a set of Torx bit screwdrivers it is incredibly easy to do - headlight out, bulb changed, headlight back in again in less than 5 minutes.
So why did I dread such a job? Ahh yes, the Feltwell household also possesses a fine example of German engineering, Vorsprung Durch Technik and all that. An Audi with more buttons than the space shuttle and quite possibly a larger engine (and worse fuel economy). Boys and their toys, pathetic really. Said car has fancy Xenon-discharge headlights, no bulbs to blow, but alas it also has "daytime running lights" that are ordinary bulbs that sit inside the headlamp units. When one blows the car reminds you in such an annoying way that you cannot possibly ignore it. So you look in the manual - "refer to main dealer". "Stuff that", thinks I, so I look under the bonnet and find that there really is no space whatsoever to get the back of the headlight unit off - after skinning my knuckles first for half an hour trying, of course. Just for a laugh I phone the main dealers - £147 + VAT for the labour, front bumper has to come off to get the headlight out. Never mind the car blowing a bulb, I'd blow a gasket.
So I phone my trusted independent Audi specialist, who groans and tells me to bring it in. Young apprentice with small hands *just* manages to do it with the headlight in situ. £10 well spent.
What a palaver just for a headlight bulb......
I suppose it would be churlish of me to point out that the Feltwell household owns a Ford, an S-Max. It's a very good family car. At the weekend Mrs F, who's car it is, told me it needed fixing - a blown headlight bulb. So I look in the instruction manual - you have to remove the headlight to change a bulb - "Oh no", thinks I, for reasons that will become clear in a moment. But, I have to give Ford their due, so long as you have a set of Torx bit screwdrivers it is incredibly easy to do - headlight out, bulb changed, headlight back in again in less than 5 minutes.
So why did I dread such a job? Ahh yes, the Feltwell household also possesses a fine example of German engineering, Vorsprung Durch Technik and all that. An Audi with more buttons than the space shuttle and quite possibly a larger engine (and worse fuel economy). Boys and their toys, pathetic really. Said car has fancy Xenon-discharge headlights, no bulbs to blow, but alas it also has "daytime running lights" that are ordinary bulbs that sit inside the headlamp units. When one blows the car reminds you in such an annoying way that you cannot possibly ignore it. So you look in the manual - "refer to main dealer". "Stuff that", thinks I, so I look under the bonnet and find that there really is no space whatsoever to get the back of the headlight unit off - after skinning my knuckles first for half an hour trying, of course. Just for a laugh I phone the main dealers - £147 + VAT for the labour, front bumper has to come off to get the headlight out. Never mind the car blowing a bulb, I'd blow a gasket.
So I phone my trusted independent Audi specialist, who groans and tells me to bring it in. Young apprentice with small hands *just* manages to do it with the headlight in situ. £10 well spent.
What a palaver just for a headlight bulb......
Flyfisher
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Yes, bravo wobs, a rant par excellence. 
I also feel your pain, Feltwell, as we too are blessed with a motoring product of fine German pedigree, albeit from the Stuttgart stable. I don't even want to think about blown headlamps as when I open the bonnet (a thankfully rare occurrence) I'm confronted with two warning stickers proclaiming that there are 20,000 volts within the headlamp assembly! :shock:
I also feel your pain, Feltwell, as we too are blessed with a motoring product of fine German pedigree, albeit from the Stuttgart stable. I don't even want to think about blown headlamps as when I open the bonnet (a thankfully rare occurrence) I'm confronted with two warning stickers proclaiming that there are 20,000 volts within the headlamp assembly! :shock:
Flyfisher
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.
I think I'll stick with my little three wheeler. Battery sits just in front of the driver's seat, so is a doddle to get out, and the headlights stand proud of the front wheels (just a couple of screws to undo).
Mind you, it hasn't been on the road for a few years - One of those "I'll get round to it sometime" jobs.
Mind you, it hasn't been on the road for a few years - One of those "I'll get round to it sometime" jobs.
JanJonWestWales
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thanks Wobs, made me laugh and think of my old classic mini with the battery in the boot !
oh and have yo useen the new Castrol innovation (i think its called Nexcel) - a replaceable oil filter and engine oil - all in one "cartridge"
oh and have yo useen the new Castrol innovation (i think its called Nexcel) - a replaceable oil filter and engine oil - all in one "cartridge"
Penners
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Well, Wobs, you must be feeling very proud. You've had praise from the Rantmeister himself!Feltwell said:
88v8
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Excellent.
That meeting was probably a follow-up to the meeting where they designed the distributor position on my 1963 Rambler, and pretty well every component on my 1970 Silver Shadow.
Ivor
That meeting was probably a follow-up to the meeting where they designed the distributor position on my 1963 Rambler, and pretty well every component on my 1970 Silver Shadow.
Ivor
wobs
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Very nice fireplace JJWW.JanJonWestWales said:
I guess this no longer constitutes a grump !
I assume the stove installer approved the tiles being so low as they are. I recall a recent discussion here about them needing a raised hearth.
Also, how is the mantel shelf being held in place?
JanJonWestWales
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wobs said:Very nice fireplace JJWW.JanJonWestWales said:
I guess this no longer constitutes a grump !
I assume the stove installer approved the tiles being so low as they are. I recall a recent discussion here about them needing a raised hearth.
Also, how is the mantel shelf being held in place?
Thanks - It's the original, a bit bumped and chipped, but adds to its authenticity.
https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-biauiC0q7vk/WJCqQXS8axI/AAAAAAAAAjY/HmlLVTj1OT84N2bl2x_MAgbMVy6RkqsDACLcB/s320/CIMG2971.JPG
The whole thing is one piece (the mantel is attached to the frame). The whole thing is attached to the wall with brass brackets on the sides.
As for the hearth and tiles. I layed a vermiculite/cement base, in the hearth and extends out into the joists (the room below is a cellar).
Then laid the tiles in on that. I fitted the fire myself, so there was no-one to contradict me
Penners
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Amazing that you've managed to get sunlight to penetrate that deep into the bowels of the earth!JanJonWestWales said: