Nanny state

[Lime]

Oh no - any minute now we're going to get the peanuts one. You know, "...may contain nuts".

That one is not as silly as it sounds, as peanuts are not technically nuts.

I like cashew nuts and it was only recently that I discovered just how they grow.

A most strange food.

http://diary.00ff00.com/wp-content/photos/cashew-fruit.jpg

 

[Moreteyne]

On the subject of nuts....

I recently went into our newly refurbished supermarket the other afternoon and made my way to the fresh fish counter and was amazed that on the fridge overlooking ice bound fish, that there was a sign advising that there may be traces of nuts in this product.
This led me to re educate my children about the dangers of Sea Nuts and their potential risk to choking when consuming a loin of monk-fish.

 

[Craig]

Waitrose prawns do contain a notice saying "warning, this product may contain shellfish"

 

[Penners]

I think we should have a competition to design the best 'no smoking' sign to place on the front doors of all those lovely Georgian properties.. how about a special one for no. 10---------

OK - here's one for no. 10:

Please feel free to blow as much lethal smoke as you wish through this letterbox.

 

[Penners]

Oh no - any minute now we're going to get the peanuts one. You know, "...may contain nuts".

That one is not as silly as it sounds, as peanuts are not technically nuts.

I don't care whether they're actually insects, the whole "please-don't-sue-me" farce gives me the galloping wossnames.

 

[Nemesis]

Well - with nuts I can see why they do give a warning, a nut allergic reaction can be fatal.

As I suppose could falling asleep after taking sleeping pills, but I suspect most of us don't swallow and drive!

 

[Penners]

Well - with nuts I can see why they do give a warning, a nut allergic reaction can be fatal.

Indeed - but when the packet is labelled PEANUTS there's a clue in there somewhere.

 

[Penners]

Sorry - I seem to be doing a lot of rather old-fartish shouting today.

 

[Nemesis]

Yes - calm down dear, and it was a bad day when you discovered that you could change font size.

The small I can hardly read, the large is so ... well male really.

 

[Penners]

The word "large" doesn't apply to all males.

 

[Nemesis]

I thought things came in size large, size huge and size enormous?

 

[MdB]

I thought things came in size large, size huge and size enormous?

No just Normal, Large and Huge (Actually there is a larger size than this if you know what you are doing. Don't tell Penners though)

 

[Penners]

Speak for yourself....

 

[Penners]

Do you know the old story about Sten guns during WWII (it's probably apocryphal)?

Apparently Stens were notoriously unreliable, particularly if they got wet. A squaddie discovered that if he put a condom over the end of the gun, this would keep it dry and make it more reliable.

This information reached the High Command, who asked permission of the War Office and the Cabinet to order thousands of extremely large, condom-like rubber covers for all Sten guns, for distribution to front-line troops in Nazi-held Europe.

Churchill gave his permission, on condition that the packets were labelled:

Contraceptive. British Made. Medium size.

 

[alice]

I don't know about Stens, but I do know for a fact that soldiers in Iraq use condoms to keep the sand out of their gun barrels. Actually, they prefer children's small party balloons, when they can get them. Smaller diameter for a tighter fit, thicker rubber and no lubricant.

So, there's nothing new under the sun....

alice

 

[Penners]

Smaller diameter for a tighter fit

Clearly not British, then!

 

[alice]

Oh, definately not British!

alice

 

[rogerh]

PS: I understand that if you have builders in to work on your house, it then becomes a place of work. So you have enforce the no smoking policy, and put up the appropriate signs.

If you have a room in your house used as an office, workshop etc. by more than one person then that too requires a no-smoking sign no smaller than A5 displayed prominently at its entrance.

 

[Craig]

Check out the madness here:

http://smokefreeengland.co.uk/files/guide_to_the_new_smokefree_law_for_businesses.pdf