feeling a bit stressed and overwhelmed

[Zebra]

I've got a front extension half built, which was supposed to be done in the spring. After months of being too wet, finally it got started but this week it was too hot (mortar was going off too quickly) so the builder (my brother) went off harvesting (because he does farming too) although he says he'll be back Monday. Until he gets the roof timbers on the front extension, I can't get the roof flashings on, tuck them into the reveal, then put the bedroom window in, get the other windows made and in, get all the windows glazed, insulate the front elevation, then finish the drip beads and then render. And get the roof done on the side extension as well as the front. Another week has gone by and the pace of progress has been painful, it's nearly August and I'm starting to despair about the likelihood of being watertight for when the weather turns. How late in the year is too late to do lime render? If I can't get to that point and render before winter then the insulation will have to stay exposed all winter, when it should only be exposed for a couple of months. Feeling utterly exhausted with the worry and completely unable to get away from it. Also because I've had to improvise a bit with the insulation, my house not being a simple box shape, and have not been able to tuck the flashings behind the insulation the way the manufacturers say you should, but have put the flashings over the insulation, so I'm worried that I've done it wrong and it will leak down behind the flashings.
And then when I get watertight there's still a concrete floor to remove, dpc to insert on two sides, new floor to lay, all the screeding to do, all the wiring and plumbing to do, new water main, new drains, all guttering and downpipes to do, dryline the bathroom, two new stud walls, whole house to plaster, all floors to lay, kitchen and bathroom to fit, whole house to decorate, a shed to build, sleeper walls in the garden to build, paving perhaps, oh, and the garden is a mess of weeds.
Oh gosh, feeling very stressed and not very stripey at all. I've owned this place almost two years now and it's utterly taken over my life with no end in sight at all. No regrets but I just don't know how much longer I can keep this up. Any words of comfort out there please?

 

[stuart45]

We bought an old cotttage 10 years ago and I still have not finished despite all the nagging. I've been in the building trade since leaving school so I'm used to jobs never getting finished. When the jobs finished you will look back and wonder why you ever worried about it. You will also think that all the effort was well worth it.

 

[angrybird]

Zebra you never cease to amaze me what you have achieved so far! I love reading your posts and you have been my inspiration throughout my renovation project,I would never have attempted half the things I have done without you and when things get tough i say to myself "if zebra can do it so can I"
I too have had panic stations as the inside of my house still has no water, electric, walls etc so the outside render seems a dream away !

keep your pecker up, I need to read your posts to keep me on track.

your a star

much love

Jacqueline x

....one step at a time and steady as you go

 

[middi]

A word of advise Zebra, chill out and have an extra cuppa. Most DIYER's on this site have been ( and some still are ) playing " catch up" with their buildings repairs/restorations. As far as I know nobody has ended up in the ' loony bin', so, do not spoil the fun and be the first one to become " committed" ( ), The building does not mind and will be there, patiently waiting, for whenever you are ready and in the frame of mind to carry on. Once finished you will experience a brilliant sense of achievement, and best of all, you will be wondering what the hell you was being stressed for. Just concentrate on the end product by progressing as fast and as diligently as circumstances allow.
Just accept the fact that ( maybe ?) you are not in a position to leave instructions for the complete restoration works in the hands of a competent heritage architect / builders with instructions to hand you the keys for the completely restored building when you get back from sunny barbados etc.

as to the lime render, the best time to do this kind of rendering is when frost danger is not forecast, the temp is above 5 deg C and days are overcast, drizly, misty and damp.
Just make sure you have one or two tarpaulings at the ready to protect what you have not completed, make sure you have plenty of logs for the fire and get yourself some nice books that you like. Life is too short to worry about anything.

Middi

 

[Zebra]

Oh gosh, thank you all. Ha ha middi, OK, I'll not let the side down and lose my mind completely just yet. You're ever so wise, saying the house won't mind and it will be ready for when I am able to carry on. Stuart thank you for your reassurance that it will all be worthwhile, I do hope so, it's such a great little house. Thank you angrybird you're too kind you really are, hmm, you have no water, electric...or walls? At least I do have those....

 

[robgil]

Sometimes it is good to get away from things for a while, perhaps a long weekend might help.

 

[Flyfisher]

Come and visit us. Five years in and we've still got tarpaulins and other measures protecting the parts of the house we've not got around to sorting out yet. I wouldn't panic about getting the render on before winter, though you'll need some form of protection, but that's easy and cheap to sort out.

Middi is right. Life's too short to worry about such things.

 

[Schoolmarm]

Firstly forget the garden.


Keep on building your extension but don't lime render if there is a chance it will freeze, you can just put batons and waterproof sheets over your insulation.

And cheer up you have done loads!!!

 

[LadyArowana]

Relax, it will all be fixed, and it will all be lovely. You have already achieved a huge amount, and more to the point you are doing it properly, which means that even though it takes a bit longer there are no nasty hidden bad things lurking that will come back and bite your stripy backside. Allow yourself a weekend off, you deserve it. You could even take Henry somewhere nice. I wonder what a country hotel might make of someone checking in with their own vacuum cleaner.....

 

[Feltwell]

Having had the privilege of seeing the Zebra project recently, I think you've done a marvellous job and frankly I don't think you'd be human if you didn't have the odd "this is all getting too much" moment. I can well understand why the "brother-builder" situation is stressing you out, but don't stress about the lime render - if it has to wait until next year, does it really matter?

You could protect the insulation quite easily and cheaply with some breathable roofing membrane - it does work, it was my only roof covering for 3 months during one rather wet winter! A bit disconcerting when it first went on as from the inside you could see straight through it and even feel the breeze coming through it, but it didn't let a drop of water in.

Your place is going to be a really lovely and characterful cottage by the time you're finished - a home that is about as personal to you (& Henry!) as it's possible to be.

 

[LadyArowana]

Having had the privilege of seeing the Zebra project recently, I think you've done a marvellous job ....

Your place is going to be a really lovely and characterful cottage by the time you're finished - a home that is about as personal to you (& Henry!) as it's possible to be.

The rest of us are going to feel left out now!

 

[JoceAndChris]

I also think you're very brave and wonderful in both your achievements and ambitions Zebra, you put me to shame, you really do. The advice above is all very good and true, and though I can't lay claim to a project as extreme as yours I have felt it getting steadily less stressful as the years go by - the deadlines you set yourself really relax, the things you think you'd definitely want to do become maybes, the things you think you can't live with you get used to. Having said that I'd be very very stressed if there wasn't a basic sheltering structure, though have managed to live quite well without any water at all for several months. And I've found I have to prioritise the things that make me happy, so have really spent time and money on the garden this summer - rather than, say, raking out cement pointing and replacing with lime. As others have said the building isn't going anywhere and has already stood the test of time, so I think a relaxed pace, a room a year for us, an expensive job every 6 months or so, is fine.

As the others have said the vulnerable parts can be wrapped up in late October if necessary. And I agree it sounds like you need a nice holiday. Take care xxx

 

[88v8]

Also feeling stressed about the slow progress here, although this is almost entirely my fault. What I have to do is minor compared to your agenda.
Also upset that my other enthusiasm - classic cars - has been elbowed out to the extent that our club has its international meeting 20 miles away in two weeks and I have decided not to go, in fact will probably sell the car because it makes me depressed sitting there on the drive unused.
So... do sympathise with you, and admire you taking on such a major project.

Pesonally, would never employ a family member to do major work. Failure to make progress and the inability to do anything about it is just one of the potential problems. If he's able and willing to help now and then, that's great, but with a farm to run, where things have to be done according to time and weather, the idea of him progressing any sort of major building project is, perhaps, a bit optimistic. Find a builder who can keep things moving... and if your brother can help you now and then, that's a bonus.

When doing our last house - took me over 20 years - I found that If you can get one room done and really finished in detail, it gives you a refuge to retreat to, and an inspiration to continue with the rest of the job.

Ivor

 

[Zebra]

The rest of us are going to feel left out now!

Then Lady A please come and visit too if you are ever in the Hertfordshire area. Henry is just longing to meet you!

Well, I've spent all of today sat in the sun in my half-finished extension, with the weekend papers, drinking coffee, and it's true, the house is patiently waiting and isn't concerned. The idea that if I didn't render before winter I could just protect it with some breathable roofing membrane is a huge reassurance, I must admit. Flyfisher, I would love to come visit, I'll not come away while my brother is still working here, because every day I'm having to make sure that, for example, the window gets built in the right place, or the floor at the correct height etc. But as soon as I can I will arrange a little trip. Thanks!

88v8 you're right, employing family members is not a good idea, and I think I wouldn't do so again. I am getting a good job cheaply, but I can't hold him to account the way I would if I were paying a builder in the normal way.

 

[Penners]

Zebra

Honestly - we've all been there. I think the most widely used phrase on this forum is "four years into a two-year project"!

No matter how much delay and frustration you experience, just keep believing that the job will be finished - because it will. And when it is the sense of achievement will be just about the best feeling you can possibly have.

Meanwhile, eat Kit-Kats - lots of them.

 

[Zebra]

Ah, Kitkats, of course, that's where I've been going wrong....

 

[Feltwell]

Grandad Henry says "Cheer up young'un, it always works out all right in the end"

(And then starts muttering about his lumbago and arthritis most likely)

 

[Penners]

Now, he reminds me of someone.

Hmmm - old and knackered, bald head, squinty eyes, big floppy nose, vacuous* smile....

...Oh no! I've just glanced in the mirror!





*Geddit? Vacuous?

Oh, please yerselves....

 

[Feltwell]

Oy! Who are you calling knackered? Old Henry may be a bit battered round the edges, but he can still show these young plastic upstarts a thing or two you know.

Don't listen to the nasty man Henry, you keep on chugging along, there's a good chap.

 

[Penners]

Believe me, Henry and I are brothers at heart.