Penners
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It's a thought, Zebra, but I somehow feel that Mrs P wouldn't look as good as you do, wearing two pairs of shoes.
- Thread starter Lindyboo
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Zebra
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Nor might she like having them nailed to her feet, I fear.
Penners
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A salient point, well made.
88v8
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Twas many years ago.... not long after the purchase of our previous house... in the dining room there was an Edwardian oak trolley on which reposed a fruit bowl, filled, oddly enough, with fruit. One day, my wife accused me of eating 'the last peach', which I indignantly denied.
"You're always eating the fruit" quoth she.
Now, if it had been peanut butter and marmalade sandwiches, there would have been no point in my pretending innocence, but fruit !
There the matter rested, until a little later an item of fruit was found wedged under a kitchen cabinet. Not long after, another the same, and it was noted that it bore what might be rodent teeth marks and the base of the kitchen cabinet, vintage 1950s, was ventilated by a rather large hole, although not in fact sufficiently large for the passage of this particular member of the fruit family.
Said hole was duly blocked up, and a search conducted to ascertain how a rodent of unknown genus came to be under the floor in the first place.
Eventually, it was noticed that an air brick beside the porch had rusted into a hole, thus allowing entry to the space beneath the suspended floor. This too was blocked up, and, as we thought, the offender shut out.
Some days later however, my wife proceeding sans shoes into the kitchen was greeted by the sight of a rat sitting on the side of the kitchen sink drinking from the dripping tap.
It was apparent, therefore, that far from shutting the invader out, we had shut it in, or at least shut it under the floor.
Soon, several additional items of fruit had disappeared, and a further search for the miscreant, or at least its mode of ingress, revealed that now a hole had been gnawed in the skirting behind the sideboard. This was repaired, but fruit continued to vanish, and the rat was seen again supping at the tap, so evidently another entrance had been made behind a cabinet, and the rat was clinging to life buoyed by fruit filching and tap dripping.
Various traps were deployed, without success.
Eventually, we hit on a wheeze. I would hide behind the dining room door, standing on a chair, armed with a cricket bat. The door would be left open betwixt kitchen and dining room, and my wife would proceed clumpingly upstairs, wearing not only her normal shoes, but also another pair on her hands, thus emulating the effect of two people ascending.
The wheeze worked. The rat sauntered unsuspectingly into the dining room, I slammed the door, and set about it with the cricket bat. Or rather, I tried to, but the rat ricocheted so alarmingly about the room, leaping head-high, that I was quite unable to connect with it, and ended up tamely opening the French doors so it could escape.
That, to my recollection, is the only time my wife has worn more than one of her many pairs of shoes.
Ivor
"You're always eating the fruit" quoth she.
Now, if it had been peanut butter and marmalade sandwiches, there would have been no point in my pretending innocence, but fruit !
There the matter rested, until a little later an item of fruit was found wedged under a kitchen cabinet. Not long after, another the same, and it was noted that it bore what might be rodent teeth marks and the base of the kitchen cabinet, vintage 1950s, was ventilated by a rather large hole, although not in fact sufficiently large for the passage of this particular member of the fruit family.
Said hole was duly blocked up, and a search conducted to ascertain how a rodent of unknown genus came to be under the floor in the first place.
Eventually, it was noticed that an air brick beside the porch had rusted into a hole, thus allowing entry to the space beneath the suspended floor. This too was blocked up, and, as we thought, the offender shut out.
Some days later however, my wife proceeding sans shoes into the kitchen was greeted by the sight of a rat sitting on the side of the kitchen sink drinking from the dripping tap.
It was apparent, therefore, that far from shutting the invader out, we had shut it in, or at least shut it under the floor.
Soon, several additional items of fruit had disappeared, and a further search for the miscreant, or at least its mode of ingress, revealed that now a hole had been gnawed in the skirting behind the sideboard. This was repaired, but fruit continued to vanish, and the rat was seen again supping at the tap, so evidently another entrance had been made behind a cabinet, and the rat was clinging to life buoyed by fruit filching and tap dripping.
Various traps were deployed, without success.
Eventually, we hit on a wheeze. I would hide behind the dining room door, standing on a chair, armed with a cricket bat. The door would be left open betwixt kitchen and dining room, and my wife would proceed clumpingly upstairs, wearing not only her normal shoes, but also another pair on her hands, thus emulating the effect of two people ascending.
The wheeze worked. The rat sauntered unsuspectingly into the dining room, I slammed the door, and set about it with the cricket bat. Or rather, I tried to, but the rat ricocheted so alarmingly about the room, leaping head-high, that I was quite unable to connect with it, and ended up tamely opening the French doors so it could escape.
That, to my recollection, is the only time my wife has worn more than one of her many pairs of shoes.
Ivor
Zebra
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What an impressive story Ivor! 
LadyArowana
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:lol: :lol: :lol: and I'm glad the rat escaped, clever little chap.
Penners
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I'm not!
The fewer rats there are in this world, the better. :evil:
The fewer rats there are in this world, the better. :evil:
LadyArowana
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Penners said:
Awwww, really, I have always thought it's people that make the world less pleasant, and rats can be very cute.
Penners
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Try finding a rat's nest in your garden shed, then see whether you still regard them as cute.
Try googling Weil's Disease, then give your rat a cuddle with a teddy bear.
Try googling Weil's Disease, then give your rat a cuddle with a teddy bear.
JoceAndChris
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I've got so many rats I don't know what to do 
They've won and are taking over!
They've won and are taking over!Penners
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You need a bit of help, Joce:
JoceAndChris
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Oh that's lovely Penners - thank you!