Survey daymare

[Anonymous]

Hello everyone.

I hope you can help! My house has been diagnosed with Rising worms, hardened soffits, lead in the paint and paint on the lead, and a case of general surveyitis. I'm very worried, help what should I do?

By the way, the surveyor recommended I pay for all remedical work with a very large quantity of squid. Is this normal??

C.C.

 

[Anonymous]

Sounds to me like you've got blood in your alcohol stream.

 

[Anonymous]

Go through it with a red pen and send it back demanding a properly presented report or your money back. What a disgrace.

Jocelyn

 

[Anonymous]

Try Tequila. It normally works quite well.

 

[Anonymous]

Well, it'll certainly stop the worms rising.

 

[Anonymous]

Kills Dry rot well too does tequila.expensive though!

 

[Anonymous]

"By the way, the surveyor recommended I pay for all remedical work with a very large quantity of squid. Is this normal?? "

Only if your brickwork is kraken up.

 

[Anonymous]

This is all perfectly normal, just learn to take it on the chin like the rest of us, pay up and stop whinging!

At least officialdomitus within the building industry still manages to impart a modicum of sanity (occasionally!), unlike the rest of the loony quango type krap we keep letting ourselves get lumbered with.

You just wait until you have got knob rot in your newel post mate – that will make your eyes water!

Grimmers

 

[Anonymous]

He may not have been doing with his newel post what you've been doing with yours.

 

[Anonymous]

How come you think you know what he does with his newel post??

Jocelyn

 

[Anonymous]

At least you've had a surveyor come to visit, even if he sounds to come from a Greek island with boozy memories of retsina and fried squid. I've been trying to get an electricity surveyor to visit for the past 3 months just so a cable can be lifted 6 inches on a gable end wall. The fourth one I've been put in touch with tells me on the phone I'll be lucky if he arrives within the foreseeable future, he's so overloaded with work, and that's just the start of the operation.

 

[Anonymous]

Whats stopping you moving your cable?

NT

 

[Anonymous]

Have you never heard of 'Health & Safety' mate??

Mere mortals are not allowed to do things!

It is written - so there!!

Grimmers

 

[Anonymous]

I have always been told it is VERBOTEN to meddle with Electricity Board cables. The Board's authorised minions are the only ones who can do it - at great expense. And since a new supply to my period barn conversion is involved, I don't want to get on the wrong side of them ...

 

[Anonymous]

ahh, now you tell us its someone elses cable.

NT

 

[Anonymous]

Of course it's an Electricity Board cable - did you think householders own the electric cables which feed supplies to their houses? End of.

 

[Anonymous]

Don't be so tetchy.
In a previous house we had a cable that fed electricity to an outbuilding; that could easily have been the situation in your case.

 

[Anonymous]

I trust next time youll remember to tell us first.

NT