For the little bits of plastering I've been doing, the final has been a mix of fine marble powder and lime. Not particularly cheap, but as it is going on less than ½mm thick, it goes a long way.
The sand must be sharp.
As described here
http://www.stastier.co.uk/nhl/guides/sandmort.htm
Unless you have a huge amount to do I'd be buying ready mixed lime plaster from a specialist. Failing that I'd buy the sand from a lime supplier, such as
St Astier, rather than risk a random result from a builders' merchants.
We recently did a bit of plastering around a fireplace. We found that you will struggle with sharp sand for the final coat. It's fine for the 1st one or two coats but it's too coarse for the smooth coat. We used something a lot finer like the sand used for block paving.
All the plaster and render on my 300 year old old framed house was chalk based, with no sand at all. People talk about the flexibility of lime, its ability to cope with movement in a building, and then go and mix it with sand! That's pretty much the end of any movement. Chalk produces a much more authentic match to the historic plasters and renders, at least here in East Anglia, and it really will flex with the building.