Organising a restoration while working

[malcolm]

I don't have much time to spend on the house. I have a full time job that involves a lot of travel which means I don't feel enthusiastic about working on the house at weekends. I employed a labourer over the winter to get the kitchen and the two rooms emptied by the flood up and running. We worked together a couple of years ago on the outside of the house and he is thorough but needs a lot of directing.

Things are moving too slowly and money isn't being spent efficiently. Some of the trades we had in weren't too good. The labourer is not a project manager - that's my weekend job.

I'm wondering if or how to reorganise things as I could do with a break. One good thing is that outside lime season is approaching and I have a few months of pointing to do which could be used to defer decision making. Otherwise I can just shut the site down and take a holiday.

Most on here must have faced the same sort of thing at one time or another. They say you should be on site all the time but the trouble is you can't make money to pay for the work while working on the house (unless you get clever with the internet). Might it be easier to do the work at weekends myself and not worry about organising others?

 

[Hobden]

Might it be easier to do the work at weekends myself and not worry about organising others?

That would be my approach, at least for anything I felt capable of doing (I don't do heights). Could you take a break from work and have a blitz on the place for a few months?

 

[malcolm]

I took a 6 month break in 2015. It was fun. I think I spent about £40K to have the roof lifted and replaced (someone else did that), chimney rebuilding, pointing down to first floor level, new oriel window, new gable wall, woodwork restoration and painting on the front. Then I ran out of money and went back to work.

It's not fun at the moment. That probably is the problem, together with the fortune I earn disappearing as fast as I earn it preventing any future fun. I have enough money for another summer break but the current job may last until 2019 (or maybe until next week - my work is unpredictable).

I don't think I have a deadline. I once thought I had a deadline for building regs but they weren't bothered when it wooshed past (Douglas Adams again). I'm happy enough myself as the work is hidden behind some doors and for a long time I have had a temporary kitchen.

I also did the relationship break up thing this evening. That didn't go down well.

 

[Feltwell]

My answer to the house / work / family life balance was to get a distraction from the house - I bought a motorhome. I feel guilty if I don't use it as it costs me money just to have it sat on the drive - a spare vehicle is a luxury (it's too big to use as an everyday vehicle) - and I feel guilty as I know the kids love going away in it so much.

So now all my holiday allowance is used on going away in it - when I'm away, I can't do anything on the house, so I'm forced to relax and spend quality time with the kids. The house gets done at weekends. What doesn't get done, doesn't get done. It's been neglected for about 100 years, a few more won't hurt it. Trades are kept to only those who have a skill or equipment to do something that I couldn't do to the right standard myself.

So progress is slow, with the weather and the fact that I'm normally too shattered to do much in the weekday evenings after work. But I don't stress about it any more.

I've got 2 weeks off at Easter and we're off to the Outer Hebrides - I can't wait - gorgeous scenery and a distinct lack of crowds. Mrs F is not packing suncream! :lol:

 

[LadyArowana]

Perhaps you need a well trained wife/ partner?

 

[88v8]

The relationship break-up.. perhaps doesn't incentivise, although the end of a relationship that's no longer working could be a sort of positive I suppose.
Anyway, commiserations.

As a rule I would not contemplate leaving anyone to work on the house in my absence. Partly this is due to my poor experience of tradesmen, partly my inability to plan ahead and decide what exactly what I want. As my Welsh builder describes it, it's a process of build and design, rather than vice versa.

The only time I delegated significant work to be done in my absence was the extension on our previous house. That did have plans, and I employed a well-established and reassuringly expensive firm of builders to do the job, after a tendering process where I actually went to see examples of prior work.
A S Ashcroft, for anyone living in Surrey... I see they're still sufficiently old fangled that they don't have a website.
They did/do a lot of work in St George's Hill.
Even there, things did not go entirely smoothly. Every evening on return from work - never before 1930h - I was clambering around looking what they'd been doing, then on the phone to them the following morning.

Unless one is willing to put up with 'normal' standards of work done in the 'normal' way, I think one has to use a specialist architect and builder, pay up and look cheerful. Either that or delegate a specific task to a specific person, and then on to the next task. That means finding the right person, which is b difficult, and it's v slow.
For 30 years I worked on our house in the evenings and at weekends, as I've said before, around 30,000 hours.
Luckily I have a very tolerant wife.

Ivor

 

[Zebra]

I also did the relationship break up thing this evening. That didn't go down well.

Whaaa? Oh no! I'm so sorry malcs! Of course the house is all feeling like a stress right now.

 

[Penners]

I have a full time job that involves a lot of travel which means I don't feel enthusiastic about working on the house at weekends.

I was very much in the same boat with our first renovation project - a very full-time job with quite a bit of foreign travel, which left me quite tired and not inclined to work on the house at weekends.

At the risk of sounding 'holier than thou', I found that the only thing to do was mentally to overcome this weekend lethargy and get my finger out. After a few weeks of forcing myself to work at least 8 hours a day on Saturdays and Sundays (and on weekdays evenings when I was at home), it became a great deal easier - principally because the visible progress on the house was hugely encouraging. And I did find that the physical work was a good antidote to the stresses and strains of the day job.

I think we all reach a point in a major house renovation where we lose heart, and your relationship break-up must have exacerbated that syndrome. However, I'm afraid the only way out of the 'slough of despond' is to square your shoulders, put on your overalls and get to work.

I hope that doesn't sound excessively heartless and patronising. At least I did avoid saying, "whistle a happy tune"!


Oops - no I didn't.

 

[malcolm]

Thanks for the thoughts. You are right Penners I am being lazy. I would probably be more enthusiastic if I did something myself like go buy some bricks and rebuild the snug fireplace. That would also make me spend time in the room that I need to figure out.

Some of the challenges at work are ridiculous. I used to get stressed about them but now I just do the best I can and enjoy the money that flows in. I guess the house project is stressful because the money flows in the wrong direction, but I can't claim either are efficient.

I'm hoping the relationship break will be a positive for both of us. We'll just need to figure out our directions. Sorry to bother you with that.

 

[Penners]

I have one more platitude, Malcolm!

Remember the phrase "little victories". Don't look at the house as one, vast project. Divide it up into lots of smaller projects - rebuilding that fireplace is a good example. At the end of each mini-project, take pleasure in its completion; give yourself a day off to do something you enjoy; buy yourself a special bottle of wine. Then get on with your work! :wink:

Each victory is a further step towards completion.

 

[Zebra]

When struggling for motivation, I have found it useful to say to myself "If I were going to do repoint that wall / replace that flashing / lay those floorboards, (I haven't said I will, but if I did,) what would be the first step?"
The reply comes back "Well, I'd have to start scraping out the old pointing / get the ladders out and find some lead / clear the room of furniture....." So I just do that one thing.
Then the next step becomes clear, and so I think to myself I can just do that next one thing, and proceeding in this way, the task gathers its own momentum.
Of course, that doesn't help if really you have other things on your mind...

 

[Penners]

The reply comes back "Well....."

So you've been hearing those voices again, have you Zebra? Did you forget to take your pills?

 

[malcolm]

I have one more platitude, Malcolm!

Your platitudes are super - keep them coming.

The things I take home from the Grand Designs programme are that every project costs at least twice as much as expected and you have an unexpected baby. I have avoided one of the two so consider the project a great success.

 

[Zebra]

So you've been hearing those voices again, have you Zebra? Did you forget to take your pills?

I have a well populated inner menagerie, you wouldn't believe it.....

 

[Penners]

The things I take home from the Grand Designs programme are that every project costs at least twice as much as expected......

.... and takes twice as long!

 

[Hobden]

The things I take home from the Grand Designs programme are that every project costs at least twice as much as expected......

.... and takes twice as long!

And if it can go wrong it will, and if it can't it still will ...

 

[plasticpigeon]

And then once it is done, you will want to sell it for some reason or other!

 

[JanJonWestWales]

gosh I can empathise with your predicament Malcolm
We have been working on our renovation for 8 years (From a derelict shell). I too have a very busy job with some travel,athough thankfully that has reduced recently.
For us it is weekends only, and not every weekend - as I have a life/family as well.
I really sympathise on the contracator/DIY debate. For one thing the house is 2 hours away, and I have to take weekdays off work just to take delivery of supplies, let alone get builders etc. So we have done pretty much all of it ourselves. Hence 8 years !!!!
The only exception being getting the chimneys, lined and topped (scaffolding isnt my favourite thing)

So how to stay motivated...at least for me...
1. Be realistic and dont try to beat yourself up when jobs take longer than you thought...they always do
2. Take a break every now and again, A number of people have said this...sometimes its a holiday (but oh the guilt), sometimes for me it is a completely unrelated project, like making a piece of furniture, or a garden project.
3. Get help ! - my wife is a trooper and does amazing work (self trained electrician), my son is a carpenter, and (when he has time away from his job/family), helps - like making doors !!!, family turn up every now and again to help with big projects - like making cider
4. take time to look back and appreciate the jobs you have done, sometimes we forget how much progress we have made. I set up a blog to do just that. you'de be suprised how much progress you make in a year.

hope this helps, its doesnt always work for me I must admit, but progress is (mostly) linear !
http://blaencwmbychan.blogspot.co.uk/

 

[wobs]

My answer to the house / work / family life balance was to get a distraction from the house - I bought a motorhome. I feel guilty if I don't use it as it costs me money just to have it sat on the drive - a spare vehicle is a luxury (it's too big to use as an everyday vehicle) - and I feel guilty as I know the kids love going away in it so much.

So now all my holiday allowance is used on going away in it - when I'm away, I can't do anything on the house, so I'm forced to relax and spend quality time with the kids. The house gets done at weekends. What doesn't get done, doesn't get done. It's been neglected for about 100 years, a few more won't hurt it. Trades are kept to only those who have a skill or equipment to do something that I couldn't do to the right standard myself.

So progress is slow, with the weather and the fact that I'm normally too shattered to do much in the weekday evenings after work. But I don't stress about it any more.

I've got 2 weeks off at Easter and we're off to the Outer Hebrides - I can't wait - gorgeous scenery and a distinct lack of crowds. Mrs F is not packing suncream! :lol:

I think my life is following yours, but a few years behind.
We recently bought a campervan, with a view to regular trips throughout the summer. The bit where reality collides with theory could be this first year, where I have 5 sash windows I want to renovate. I've done the prep work (filling and painting the front face etc.), and just waiting to take the sashes out to strip and paint. But doing the first one involves waiting for a new sash window to be installed at the back.......
This is child's play compared to what I went through end of the last year, where I had 5 tradesmen promising me they would do various jobs, and none would commit to a date, while the weather got worse, and many of said jobs were to be outside and ideally done in summer. All while fitting in my own painting jobs on the old windows, full time work, and child duties. By December I was a mental wreck, and just stopped work over Christmas for my own sanity.

I even put together a PM to send to you as a bit of therapy. (Might send that now).

We're currently getting the campervan ready for the camping season.

Meanwhile, the house must get done, as the jobs I want to get done are not just cosmetic. Windows need to be sorted to stop rot, and reduce heat escaping; need fireplaces sorted, so we can get stoves fitted (will save money on heating), new banister, as we don't currently have one!... and MiL can't get up the stairs without one, and the garage needs extending upwards to allow the campervan a cosy home. Probably more jobs due, but that's the main stuff. Decorating will also feature, but that's fairly easy, and can be done in winter.

I do get an hour or two on an evening mid week, but weekends are a balancing act between DIY and childcare. My parents are the only baby sitting service we have, and so I want to get things done while they are able to take the kids out during the day. We don't want to rely on them too much, as they are fairly old and enjoying retirement.

Basically, I find doing the jobs myself far less stressful for various reasons, but time is not on my side, and we want to spend time with the kids, so something has to give sometimes.

 

[Feltwell]

PM sent!