Hoorah - I can now afford . . .

[Flyfisher]

. . . to get some specialist builders in to finish the house while I sun myself in exotic climes.

And all because a very nice man from the United Nations has written to me today to to tell me that "We wish to inform you that your Contract/Inheritance Fund US$10.5 Million with the Federal Government of Nigeria have been finally approved to be paid to you via ATM Visa Debit Card which you will use to withdraw your US$10.5Million from any ATM machine."

The bad news is that I'll only be able to withdraw US$20,000 per day, but I reckon I could just about manage on that. But I can't waste time nattering away here, I've got to collect all my personal details together and send them off immediately.

Isn't the internet a marvellous thing? :lol:

 

[Nigel Watts]

Now if it takes say two seconds to dispense $100 you should only have to wait by the machine for 200,000 seconds or about two and a half days for all the cash to come out (assuming a nice person in the bank keeps topping it up). You may need to bring quite a few large bags to stash it in though.

 

[LadyArowana]

Wow how lucky is that!

 

[Flyfisher]

I know! And it was only last year that I won the Netherlands lottery as well - although I reckon that was a scam because I hadn't even bought a ticket. But this time . . . well, who could argue with the United Nations? :wink:

 

[robgil]

They will make you buy your own ticket to Nigeria to collect the money and sign the paperwork and I have it on good faith that their office is down a dark alley off a back street, The 2000 dollar fee needs to be in cash as well. Should be fine though.
Good luck!

 

[FamilyWiggs]

While you're there, could you please look up a nice Nigerian general for me? He has some diamonds for me that he keeps emailing me about. Oh and a nice lady would like to give me her late husband's estate as a random act of kindness they agreed on before he sadly died recently. Perhaps you could also drop in on her on the way back. She is in Switzerland.

I understand Penners is also inundated with email offers of bargain Rolex watches, and (ahem), member-enhancement pills (whatever they are)! Amazing how uncannily accurate their marketing is!

 

[Flyfisher]

I'd love to make such a world trip, collecting all these millions that are clearly overdue, but I'm rather worried about being able to get through UK customs when I return. I suppose I could go via the Cayman Islands and deposit everything there . . . tell you what, PM me all your bank details (you know, account numbers, sort codes, PINs, online passwords etc) and I'll see what I can do while I'm out of the country.

Thank goodness we have the internet to help arrange such things. :wink:

 

[skier-hughes]

in which case I take back what I said in my pm, you can buy the drinks on Saturday, there will be about 80 of us, we prefer a nice Heidsieck Champagne of the 1907 vintage.

 

[LadyArowana]

I'd love to make such a world trip, collecting all these millions that are clearly overdue, but I'm rather worried about being able to get through UK customs when I return. I suppose I could go via the Cayman Islands and deposit everything there . . . tell you what, PM me all your bank details (you know, account numbers, sort codes, PINs, online passwords etc) and I'll see what I can do while I'm out of the country.

Thank goodness we have the internet to help arrange such things. :wink:

Here's a thought, if you drop it all off in Singapore then when we eventually ship everything home I will stick it in our container for you. I'm almost certain it will be fine and not accidentally go missing or something.

 

[Gareth Hughes]

Those who have more free time than I have may enjoy chasing up the exploits of people who have taken on the multifarious scammers at their own game.

 

[LadyArowana]

Those who have more free time than I have may enjoy chasing up the exploits of people who have taken on the multifarious scammers at their own game.

You aren't suggesting that Mr F is dealing with people that have other than good intentions are you? I was really looking forward to him finishing the house in double quick time and sharing some pictures here

 

[jocelyn plummer]

Offer to meet up with them outside MI5 headquarters--- next week sometime.

 

[FamilyWiggs]

Since I'm already married I thought I'd pass on this kind offer received in my email inbox today:

"My name is Ekaterina, I am 32 years old..
I live in Russia, in city Krasnodar
I search for the person who would understand me..
I want serious intentions, and serious relations..
I want to find love, I want to find good person with whom I can spend all my life..
If you are interested in me if you want to study about me more,
write to me the letter at my e-mail mosmaryy@gmail.com !
Ekaterina !"

I'm wondering in Penners might be able to slip the leash and contact her? :shock:

 

[JoceAndChris]

:lol: I reckon I could do with an Ekaterina around the place. This single wife business without servants doesn't work in a period property with 4 acres that needs tons of work. Wonder if she'd like to continue her search for love here whilst living rent free cooking and clearing?
But no, they just want your money don't they. :x

 

[LadyArowana]

:lol: I reckon I could do with an Ekaterina around the place. This single wife business without servants doesn't work in a period property with 4 acres that needs tons of work. Wonder if she'd like to continue her search for love here whilst living rent free cooking and clearing?
But no, they just want your money don't they. :x

Sometimes they want your husband as well as your money........ Maids or housekeepers need to be old and unattractive.

 

[FamilyWiggs]

Ooh - my luck just keeps getting better! Now I get a tax refund - all I need to do is login and send them my internet banking details!

How easy is that? 8)

"Dear Taxpayer,

After the last annual calculations of your fiscal activity we have discovered that
you are eligible to receive a tax refund of £282.50. Kindly complete the tax refund
request and allow 2-3 working days to process it.

A refund can be delayed for a variety of reasons. For example submitting invalid
records or applying after the deadline. To access the form for your tax refund,
please Click here: http://www.hmrc.gov.uk/taxpayers/refundation.html

Note: For security reasons, we will record your ip-address, the date and time.
Deliberate wrong inputs are criminally pursued and persecuted.

Thank You.
HM Revenue & Customs (HMRC)"

 

[Schoolmarm]

refundation :lol: persecuted :lol: