And you thought Jackdaws in your chimney are a problem....

[Feltwell]

Ugh. What a way to go.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/ukn...himney-of-Derby-Grade-II-listed-building.html

I do like the way the Torygraph even gets the building's listing status in the headline!

 

[LadyArowana]

Makes a change for me to read about some strange method by which someone passes away and not think "oh, must be careful about that", feel it's a remote possibility for me to be attempting to burglarize some random lawyers office

What is even more intriguing is why Mr Feltwell is reading that newspaper, can't even use my excuse for the Sun online of catching up with the celebrity gossip......

 

[Feltwell]

What is even more intriguing is why Mr Feltwell is reading that newspaper

Feltwell caught reading right-wing bastion shocker :wink:

Could have been worse - it could have been the Daily Mail, in which case I've no doubt the burglar would have been an asylum seeker trying to sneak down the chimney in order to fabricate his court papers and allow his 4 wives and 15 children into the country to live on benefits paid for by the hard-working white residents of middle England.

 

[Flyfisher]

Could have been worse - it could have been the Daily Mail, in which case I've no doubt the burglar would have been an asylum seeker trying to sneak down the chimney in order to fabricate his court papers and allow his 4 wives and 15 children into the country to live on benefits paid for by the hard-working white residents of middle England.

Very good. Have you considered a career in journalism? :lol:

 

[Feltwell]

Well, I made up a work of biased fiction with very little time & effort - perhaps I'm missing my true vocation!

 

[LadyArowana]

Well, I made up a work of biased fiction with very little time & effort - perhaps I'm missing my true vocation!

I think so. Remember it's vitally important to include an estimate of the value of someones house if this is in excess of about 600,000 pounds*, and if you should be assigned to the showbusiness section then you will need to know how to correctly use the following phrases:-
"makeup free"
"revenge body"
"skyscraper heels"
"dodgy extensions"
"trout pout"
"muffin top"
"refund gap"

*having thoroughly researched todays issue it would seem the figure should be 500,000

 

[DJH]

Daily Mail? Telegraph? I read them both as I've worked for the proprietors of both of them and I kind of feel sorry for them and like to think I'm giving them back a little of what they paid me... :lol:

Doug

 

[Keith Bowman]

Could have been worse - it could have been the Daily Mail, in which case I've no doubt the burglar would have been an asylum seeker trying to sneak down the chimney in order to fabricate his court papers and allow his 4 wives and 15 children into the country to live on benefits paid for by the hard-working white residents of middle England.

Very good. Have you considered a career in journalism? :lol:

It doesn't look as though you would have much competition for a post on the Telegraph. I quote: " the building - which was formally the Court of Probate" and : "Police are investigating whether Kevin Gough attempted to break in.........Officers are working to establish the identity of the man and inform his family"

'Milton thou shoulds't be living at this hour...England hath need of thee'

 

[88v8]

If that burglar had had any consideration for others, he'd have brought an Airwick with him. Typical of the scrounging immigrant lower classes.

Ivor

PS since when was The Telegraph right-wing?

 

[Feltwell]

It doesn't look as though you would have much competition for a post on the Telegraph. I quote: " the building - which was formally the Court of Probate"

To do something which I usually wouldn't dream of and quote an Americanism, "Grammar - it's the difference between knowing your sh1t and knowing you're sh1t". :wink:

PS since when was The Telegraph right-wing?

About 1937 if Wikipedia is to be believed

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Daily_Telegraph

 

[Penners]

Could have been worse - it could have been the Daily Mail, in which case I've no doubt the burglar would have been an asylum seeker trying to sneak down the chimney in order to fabricate his court papers and allow his 4 wives and 15 children into the country to live on benefits paid for by the hard-working white residents of middle England.

Very good. Have you considered a career in journalism? :lol:

Since when did writing for the Daily Mail qualify as journalism?